New Parenting Skills

Eli bought a book recently called "The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child". Among other things it stresses how, in the long term, punishment is an ineffective tool for changing a child's behavior.

This book argues that the most effective way to mold kids' behavior is to praise them when they behave the way you want. For example, if your kids fight all the time, you need to make an effort to point it out when they are sharing, cooperating, playing quietly. And that doesn't mean saying "Why can't you play nicely all the time?!", it means saying something like, "Wow I really love it when you guys play so nicely!"

So we have been trying to be positive and praise the kids when they are being good. Eli has noticed that Avery gets a huge proud grin on his face when we tell him how well he is behaving (for example: when they get dressed in the morning and put their clothes in the hamper).

It may be the placebo effect, but I feel like it is paying off. It seems like we are yelling at the boys less, and they are behaving better. And really, the worst that could come of it is that we pay closer attention to our children.